HEARDSMITH

See also my personal tumblr @ http://heardsmith-inner-space.tumblr.com/

“Dude. Gators are dead, their hands are cut off, and they’re only a dollar!”

—   D.M.

“She changed her Facebook status to ‘syphilis’.”

—   J.R.

Ouch.

S.N.:

I really could’ve broken his thumbs.

N.S.:

By sitting on them!

“This is an appropriate time to shoop.”

—   E.O.

“When a girl says ‘first of all’, she’s done her research. She’s got pie charts, graphs, and statistics. Look out!”

—   man at the Antelope Valley Mall to woman

“I’m a mammal, you’re … a mammal??”

—   M.T.

“Every time you open the fridge door, it smells like bootytown.”

—   S.G.

“I’m ruby with envy!”

—   N.C.

“Hogwarts started going downhill since they started letting Mexicans in.”

—   B.A.

“Apparently they don’t want their kids buying ice cream from werewolves.”

—   J.D.

“I’m not picky … when it comes to cuddles.”

—   J.D.

Oh my!

J.R.:

Is C3-P0 gay or British?

J.D.:

He’s a Robosexual.

“I liked when Josiah got stabbed. It was really funny!”

—   J.D.

“Hey guys. Do you remember when we gang-banged Matthew Dunley?”

—   J.D.

“We need to make lasagna. If not… I don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

—   J.D.