HEARDSMITH

See also my personal tumblr @ http://heardsmith-inner-space.tumblr.com/

“Fog is just ghosts fucking.”

—   J.R.

“I was in the bathroom but they had the Kiss Cam on me!”

—   S.D. at Dodger Stadium

“She just needs the right wiener, in my opinion.”

—   J.D.

“Was that, like, a dork parade?”

—   B.A. watching a Segway tour 

Jiminy!

S.P.:

Why does a cricket have fingers?

C.E.:

These are questions you should never ask.

S.P.:

I need to know!

“That’s my new thing! I start punching!”

—   P.C.

“Dude. Gators are dead, their hands are cut off, and they’re only a dollar!”

—   D.M.

“She changed her Facebook status to ‘syphilis’.”

—   J.R.

Ouch.

S.N.:

I really could’ve broken his thumbs.

N.S.:

By sitting on them!

“This is an appropriate time to shoop.”

—   E.O.

“When a girl says ‘first of all’, she’s done her research. She’s got pie charts, graphs, and statistics. Look out!”

—   man at the Antelope Valley Mall to woman

“I’m a mammal, you’re … a mammal??”

—   M.T.

“Every time you open the fridge door, it smells like bootytown.”

—   S.G.

“I’m ruby with envy!”

—   N.C.

“Hogwarts started going downhill since they started letting Mexicans in.”

—   B.A.