HEARDSMITH

See also my personal tumblr @ http://heardsmith-inner-space.tumblr.com/

“Do you want human tea?”

—   S.P.M.

Take me out to the ballgame

E.O.:

I didn’t wanna blow him, but I was on Kiss Cam.

J.R.:

In my defense: Kiss Cam.

“If I don’t find it, I’m going to cry and poop at the same time.”

—   T.M.

“Psst! Diana! I can see your body!”

—   C.P.

“Its never too early for zombies. I have zombies for breakfast.”

—   Chiropractor 

“All our friends have small penises. We need new friends.”

—   M.T.

J.D.:

You think I'm emotional?

J.R.:

Yeah.

J.D.:

I'm gonna cry!

“Ooh! Pump it and dump it!”

—   N.C. browsing Tinder

“I went to bite a French Fry and I just bite my finger. This is real life.”

—   B.A.

“You kneed me in the balls. Softly, though. It was nice.”

—   S.G.

“My favorite part is when it goes in my mouth.”

—   S.P.M.

No hablamos español

C.E.:

Aw look. They're just two Mexicans fixing a drain.

L.G.T.:

They're not real Mexicans. Otherwise it'd be fixed by now.

“The bet was to suck a fart out through a paper towel roll.”

—   Z.C.

“My stomach is so hungry, its eating itself out.”

—   C.T.

“I really like half-assed foreplay. It’s the 2nd best kind of foreplay.”

—   M.T.